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This skill sets successful introverts apart from most other people


There is a common wrong understanding that introverts must emulate stereotypically extroverted personalities to succeed: Be direct, always raise your hand and command a room.

But the most successful introverts actually thrive by avoiding all situations, and creating environments where they can contribute in more comfortable ways, says Jevonya Allen, a self-described introvert and author. in “The Introvert’s Guide to Becoming a Master Networker.”

“If you know you like small settings, you don’t want to apply for a job at a big corporation,” Allen says. “If you’re in a team and you notice that they expect you to speak, you can talk to your boss about how to submit your thoughts in writing. [instead].”

The concept applies to almost any workplace and most regular life situations. The scariest part can be choosing from extrovert-friendly situations without disturbing others, Allen said.

At work, you can ease the pressure by having a private conversation with your manager. Allen’s advice: Come prepared with clear examples of situations you want to avoid, how you want to contribute and why it will make you happier and more productive.

Preparing the details ahead of time can make all the difference. “We [introverts] everyone first needs to understand how we show up,” Allen said. “Then you can adapt your environment to suit. That’s what helps us improve.”

You can use the same strategy for more navigate social situations welltoo.

Take former Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer, who found that events and social gatherings frayed her nerves and offended her naturally shy demeanor, she said. Vogue in 2013.

Before taking the Yahoo role in 2012, the beginning of a controversial five-year run at the company’s helm, Mayer developed a tactic to prevent herself from running into rooms full of strangers. . “I literally look at my watch and say, ‘You can’t leave until X time. And if you have a terrible time at X time, you can leave,'” he said.

For those who need help figuring out how to align other areas of their lives in a more introvert-friendly way, Allen has a simple recommendation: “Take some of the online personality tests.”

In particular, he recommends the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator for anyone who wants to gauge how introverted they are, and a DiSC assessment if you want help figuring out how best to communicate with the people around you.

In particular, the scientific validity of both tests has been hotly contested for many years. In this context, you’re just using the results as an information tool, says Allen — data points that help you determine the best path forward.

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